Things are going well. It's weird. I hope it lasts. I was chatting to a friend about how I always have a hard time adjusting to a situation but as soon as I do, something comes in and ruins it. He agreed with me saying, "Things are going great and then it's time to change." Blah. Why does the world work in such a way? I agree that without bad we wouldn't know good, but can the good just stay for longer?! I am feeling this a lot lately because I am adjusted and happy, but I am leaving all of it behind in a little over a week. Things are good with my friends and family. I am making a lot of great memories. Driving and dinners with Jacob. Ice cream with Brooke, Erin, and Kaitlin. Spending all of this last weekend with Rhiana. :) Laughing and blasting music in the car with all the windows down with Maegan. Hugging my mom and not letting go for 20 minutes, and trying to beat up my dad while he is doing the dishes. I used to think the bad outweighed the good here, but the memories I have made in just the last few weeks are fueling my happiness and distracting from the inevitable.
I have been packing up my bedroom since last week because my parents are having me move out. I was bitter before but they need the space. I am glad they are making me do it though because in the process, I have come across countless notes and letters from the people that I love. I found papers full of drawings from Michael and myself that we drew on the bus ride during trek. I found a hilarious letter from Rhi about how hurt she was that I didn't get her something for her half birthday. I found old Water World tickets, letters from Luke, a popcorn bag from my concessions job with the most frequently asked questions written on it (What do you have for real food? What can I get for a dollar? haha) with tallies next to each, tiny pieces of paper from Jacob telling me to come to the singles ward with a hideous drawing, notes written at church, video ideas, memories, fuel.
I love being able to look back and remember the times I laughed so hard my stomach hurt or the times I felt so much love for someone even if things are different now.
There is a quote I have on Pinterest that says, "I think the only reason why people hold onto memories so tight, for so long is because memories are the only things that don't change, even when people do." I love that.
I know that I will make more memories back at school but they will be different because there is not history with those new people like there is with my childhood friends. I don't know where I will go from here. If I will stay in Idaho or move back here in a year. But I know that the memories will stay with me no matter what. They are my fuel.